Till We Meet Again

So, today is my last day in California as an average Jane. Tonight, I am going to be set apart as a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. This means that I will be given the power and authority to act as a representative of Jesus Christ and His Church. I will spend the next 18 months serving full-time in the Montana Billings mission preaching the gospel to my fellow-men. If I spend that entire time laboring and only improve the life of one person, it will have been time well spent. (I do, however, hope to have a little more success than that.)

I won't be writing on my blog while I am gone for the next year and a half, so I would like to bid you all farewell and leave a parting message of love. You are all amazing. We all have times where we feel inadequate and unworthy, but I hope that each of you can feel the truth in my words when I say, "You are always loved!" You are never alone or deserted. You matter to Him. 

My mission in life, not just these next few months, is to bless the lives of others and to help them find truth and happiness. That is why I have this blog. That is why I write to you. I care about each and every one of you, even if I am unaware of your particular situation. I pray for the guidance to write what you need to hear, that I may be a tool in the Lord's hands helping him to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man.

You need not be blown about as "chaff in the wind." Your Father is there to guide you through the storms of life. There is help when you are struggling; just ask. 

If there are any of you who wish to receive my weekly emails while I am away in Montana and have not given me your email yet, send me a message or leave your email as a comment below.

God be with you till we meet again.

Lost and Found

I love art. I love the feelings that a mere piece of print or canvas can evoke. I love trying to figure out why the artist chose the subject and medium that he did. Most of all, I love the peace and beauty that can be found and portrayed.

{Now, before you begin to test my knowledge of Da Vinci, Van Gogh, or Alexandros of Antioch, I must admit that I am not the most educated of art critics. I still have much to learn as I collect other people's art and experiment making my own.}

Today, I found a picture that I just had to get.

It is called, "Lost and Found" by Greg Olsen.

Perhaps the purpose was to:

• Show that Christ cares, no matter why the young man is in his current situation or where he is going.

• Contrast the Savior's reaction to our own reactions. Do we see others around us as children of God who are loved just as much as us?

• Say that Christ can be seen in the kindness of others. Could Olsen possibly have envisioned the Savior shining through a caring stranger who stopped to talk to the lonely boy on the bench?

Is there a possibility that all three are valid?

You decide.

That is what I love about art.

Another Beginning

So, as I prepare to leave on my mission to Billings Montana, it feels like I am closing another chapter in my life. I leave in about a month and it is both exhilarating and exhausting to think about. So much will change while I am gone. I hope most of those changes are for the better, but I know they won't all be.

"For it must needs be, that there is opposition in all things. (2 Nephi 2:11)."

I take hope from the fact that every ending leads to a new beginning.

Another Beginning

I used to think we'd never part;
The thought had never crossed my mind,
But now, I find I'm at the start
And your path, I've left behind.

Among the rocks, you now wind,
But I chose the straighter course.
At first offset, I seemed to find
My chosen path to be the source

Of obstacles so great a force
That I had not strength to stand,
And soon my weary voice grew hoarse
Calling, pleading for your hand.

This was not the end I planned!
But somehow, I stumbled on
And I found a meadowland;
Finally, your shadow gone,

I forgot to dwell upon
All the things I wished for you.
I almost cried to see the dawn
And first-time saw, the morning dew.

Gotta love Enya. =)

The Greatest Commandment

"And I do this for a wise purpose... and now, I do not know all things, but the Lord knoweth all things which are to come: wherefore, he worketh in me to do according to his will." ~Words of Mormon 1:7

Even when we don't know exactly where we are going in life, the Lord has a plan. Sometimes, it is necessary to take a step into the dark in order to find the light.  As we make plans and care for others around us above ourselves, we will be cared for in return. I have seen this time and time again in my own life. I hope it may help in yours.

So, I believe in making plans. I believe in taking action. I believe in practicing pure love.

"For whosoever shall save his life shall lose it: and whosoever shall lose his life, for my sake, shall find it." ~Matthew 16:25

Blossom Rose

This is for all of the wonderful people I have met in my life who have taught me what true love is. Written from the perspective of a mother whose child was born with a disability. 

Well, you were born perfect to me:
Almond eyes and a button nose.
What a beautiful sight to see,
My tender blossom rose.

They told me to give up hope
You'll never live a normal life
That it's selfish in this scope
To keep you in such strife.

But I decided you were mine
To care for and protect for time
I didn't need a bigger sign
Than your smile, beauty sublime.

You'll walk and talk, but never learn
Arithmetic or cursive
Yet nothing in the world could earn
The love you freely give.

They told me all the faults in you
Yet they never saw ahead
How you would change my view
And make life so blessed.

Now, you're still perfect to me:
Almond eyes and a button nose.
What a beautiful sight to see,
My tender blossom rose.

I Hope They Call Me On a Mission...

Night after night, when my older sister, Amy, would tuck me in to bed at night, I would ask for that same song. Every night.

When I was 10, I started saving up for a mission. By the time I was 13, I had $500 saved up. Then, I decided that a mission probably wasn't in my future because, knowing myself, I wanted to get married instead of serving a mission at 21 years old.

So, I just decided that my life was my mission. I would work every day to make at least one person's day better and brighter through letting the light of Christ shine through me.

Then, last October, the age for sister missionaries was reduced to 19 years old. I was extremely excited, but still felt it wasn't right for me.

About a month ago, something changed. Suddenly, it just seemed so right. Everything fell into place.

And now, it's coming true! I have just submitted my papers to serve as a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I just have one interview left before my papers are sent to Salt Lake City where I will be assigned an area in which to serve. For a year and a half, I will put everything aside to serve the Lord, my God.

Stay tuned to see where I get called to serve!*

Yeah, life is good. =)











*Feel free to comment with guesses about where you think/want me to go. Winner gets a prize.

Words of Pride

My soul sorrows within me now
From the mem'ry of my sins;
If I truly loved my Savior,
Would I mock my brother's faults?

I put my worth above his own
Through unkind words, a petty vice,
But truly just abased myself;
True virtue need not prove it's there.

Oh, Lord, my God, forgive me as
I covenant anew with thee,
Partaking of your flesh and blood,
Allowing you to make me clean.

Deciding now to be your hands
To lift my brother from the dust.
Bury all my pride and folly;
Consecrate my time and heart.

As your disciple, teach me how
To be a city on a hill.
I need your help, please let me see
The worth of others unto thee.

Woah, I'm Twenty?

Yepp. Last Saturday was my birthday. In honor of leaving my teenage years behind, I thought I would do some reflecting on the top twenty things I have learned so far in life.

1. Nothing ever comes before family.
2. God is my Heavenly Father; therefore, He comes before all else. 
3. As a daughter of God, I have divine worth that cannot be diminished by anyone.
4. It is okay to be different. (Especially when being silly.)  =P
5. We all have a story to tell.
6. Listening is often better than speaking.
7. "Life is meant to be enjoyed, not merely endured." -Gordon B. Hinkley
8.  Satisfaction in life comes from mindset.
9. Joy in life comes through obedience.
10. Understanding comes after obedience.
11. I obey out of love and respect for my Savior.
12. God does not work through fear.
13. Serving others can bring a smile even in the hardest times.
14. It is just as important to let others serve me as it is for me to serve others.
15. The Atonement is all about fixing what we can't.
16. Forgiving others allows me to heal and find peace.
17. The power of the priesthood blesses lives.
18. The Book of Mormon truly testifies of Christ.
19. Truth is not relative. Truth is truth.
20. In the Church of Christ, we cannot pick and choose what to believe and obey.

If you made it to the end, I commend you and would like to ask a question. Leave a comment with your answer. =)

What is at least one thing you have learned in life?

Dancing Violins

Ok, so I was in a class today and we watched a video on Lindsey Stirling. I had no idea how popular she was! Turns out, a friend of mine had shown me her Lord of the Rings medley last year.

After rediscovering her amazingness, I decided to write a blog post dedicated to her and her music.

Why I love Lord of the Rings:
It just somehow gives me such peace of mind. Everything can be going wrong and I turn on The Fellowship of the Ring and I am laughing through the tears.

I love the Celtic feel in this one.

"We Found Love"

Another awesome thing: she combines two of my favorite things into one: music and dance.

Plus, I just learned that she graduated from my same school with a degree in recreation therapy, the same thing that I am studying. Maybe there is more I could do with dance. It's people like Lindsey that make me wonder if I am living below my potential and inspire me to keep dreaming.

Easter: Sunday Will Come

Sometimes in life, like just the other night, I am tempted to let myself wallow in loneliness and discouragement. 

I sit and wonder when rest will arrive. 

• When will I find that loving companion who will walk eternity by my side? 
• When will I be blessed with the smiles and laughter of children, most innocent and pure? 
• When will I be able to establish a home of my own, filled with love and peace?

Sometimes, the road looks so long that I fear I may never reach my destination.

However, I know that I can always last one more day. 

The dark night will come to an end. The Son will come again and life to all will be restored. Soon, those who know Him will rest from all their cares.

As His return draws near, I hope that I am waiting by the tomb, that I will recognize my Lord.

"No matter how dark our Friday, Sunday will come." -Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin

Memories

Oh mother dear how I do long
To speak with you, to get a hug,
To hear you laugh once more with me
Just smiling brightly in the sun.

Oh, how the mind can twist the past
Twill just recall those memories
Congruent with the mood you wear,
Like a closet full of clothes.

Sometimes I think of yellow dress
In sunshine memories to dance.
While other time, I just have this:
My black raincoat that's full of holes.

My clothes of youth were not most choice;
Sometimes threadbare, with a patch.
Yet, to me were royal robes
At least, that's what my mouth did say.

But as I grew and left your home,
I left most of those clothes behind:
Tried to forget some did exist.
Yet, from the battered cloth, I learned.

They taught me love and charity.
Now you're gone and all I have
Are the values that you held
And wove into my clothes of youth.

The Good Life

In one of my classes last semester, we discussed an interesting topic.

What is "happiness?" What is "the good life?"

We decided on a couple definitions: a good life is one in which the full range of human emotions and experiences occur. 

Likewise, happiness is found or created through establishing connections and meaning in life.

So, just because there is occasional heartbreak or sorrow, that doesn't mean that life isn't good. Happiness can be found in even the hardest times through connecting with others around you. That is when you find yourself laughing through the tears.

I have to say, I have a really good life.

I have fantastic friends that make me laugh till my face hurts...

As we trudge together through the storms of life...

And family who make even the hardest days...

Into fond memories that will last forever...

And a Savior who never gives up on me.

What makes your life good?

March of Dimes

The mission of March of Dimes is to improve the health of babies by preventing birth defects, premature birth, and infant mortality.

I am gaining an increasing understanding of just how many parents 

have to deal with the grief of a lost child.

My mother worked with premature babies. 

I remember her telling us about babies that fit in the palm of her hand.

I have also met many wonderful people who were born with defects 

and it is only due to the wonders of modern medicine 

that I was able to meet them in the first place.

This year, my sister is walking for the cause.

She has dedicated her walk to her best friend's son who was born 8 weeks premature.

If you want to donate to help her reach her goal, you can view her page here:

http://www.marchforbabies.org/personal_page.asp?pp=2410898&ct=4&w=6111911&u=KimmieF&bt=24

A Time For Questions

I have to say, questions are fantastic.

They can lead to wonderful answers,

even when they aren't fun in the moment.

As I have been challenged in my schooling, 

I have learned if I'm not forming questions, I'm not thinking.

Asking questions, and then putting forth the effort 

to really search out and ponder the answer,

can lead to amazing growth and knowledge.

Sincere questions have been a source of inspiration,

leading me to discover hidden treasures.

So, do you have questions?

Blind Love

“Love is not blind—it sees more, not less. But because it sees more, it is willing to see less.”  - Julius Gordon

So, take some time with the ones you love.

Hold them close...

Feel the joy of their presence...

Dress up and take random pictures...

And just have lots and lots of fun!

Thanks for seeing more in me.

Sonnet Sunday: Empty Thoughts

Empty thoughts now fill my mind
Drifting through this painful mist
Of memories not half-recalled
What screaming silence bursts my ears

As I refuse to clear my eyes
To see the cause of all my tears.
A question simple yet complex
Oh I cannot find words to say

The answer to your due query
Of what it is that aches the most
What haunting questions do I fear
Deep within this heart of mine

I fear the possibility
That I will chose a path that leads
Back to darkness, not far hence
From the cold from whence I came.

But I know my Father's there
Waiting with His arm outstretched;
Angels sent will strengthen me
And guide me to the narrow gate.

What Do I Know of Holy?

Lately, I haven't felt as spiritual as I like. I feel like I have just been drifting along like a leaf battered by the wind.

I like to think I am knowledgeable about God and life, but really... "what do I know of holy?"

It amazes me how short my spiritual memory is sometimes. Constantly, I must re-dedicate myself to the things that I know are right. So, here I go again. Remind myself who I am, why I am here, and where I am going. 

After making a covenant to go where the Lord would have me go, to care for the sick and afflicted, and to mourn with those that mourn, how can I be comfortable being passive in life? 

I simply can't.

That's what faith can do.

A Stitch in Time

Wanna hear how I got stitches???

Well, on Friday, I went to play broom hockey for a friend's birthday. I was really excited because I have never played broom hockey before.

I got really into the game. The time spent playing roller hockey with my brothers seemed to lend me an advantage.

Then, a fateful moment came. I reached to scoop the ball out from another player and lost my balance. I fell, landing on my knees and then hitting my chin on the ice. 

I got up and was thinking I would just take a bit of time on the side recovering before going back into the game. Not so.

Turns out I split my chin. My friend, Kathryn, took me to the hospital where I got 9 stitches (4 deep and 5 superficial). We had a blast! We laughed and joked the whole time, listening to Tangled on the way to the ER. Then, we -or rather Kathryn- wrote "Thank you" notes to everyone at the hospital that we came in contact with.

I was thinking about it yesterday and was amazed. If I had landed any other way I could have had a lot worse than just a few stitches. It happened so fast that I don't recall any conscious decision to keep my head up. I just did. Somehow, I knew exactly what to do. 

Even right after it happened, I felt a calm that assured me it was going to be fine. I was able to laugh and take pictures of the wound before the stitches. Feeling kind of like my mom. I feel like she was there, laughing alongside me, protecting me.

Burn Bright

I wish, my dear, that you understood
All the wond'rous things I have found.
I would tell you everything if I could.
I open my mouth, without a sound:

A whisp'ring voice says it won't resound.
I want what's best for you and pray, as you
Fade from my sight, that you are crowned
With light and glory. Please find His way.

Oh Love, there is so much I want to say;
Fire is burning bright within me Dear
Aching to drive your doubts away.
Words so true, just let yourself hear.

In you, such potential burning bright;
I hope one day, you unleash it's light.

Sonnet Sunday: Dancing Lilies

So, it's not quite a sonnet, but it is Sunday!

Here in Utah, the snow is beginning to melt. Yesterday, the sun was shining and it was almost 50 degrees!! It was the first day in a long time that I could grab my guitar and just sit outside playing. I even needed to take my sweater off after a while! =D

So, as a tribute to spring, here is an original poem written my senior year of high school.

Dancing Lilies

The dancing lilies seem to ask,

"Didst thou forget the silent breeze,

The fragrant soil, the whisp'ring trees

That thy father made for thee?"

I answer, "Only for a time."

To this the lilies do implore

That I will come and visit more;

For in their presence I will find

The most delightful peace of mind.

Photo is not mine. For information about it, visit the photographer's page.

Where Do I Belong?

Sometimes, it can feel like you don't belong. Maybe it is with your friends, your co-workers, or just the world in general. 

For me, I feel like that a lot. I have many acquaintances, but few close friends. I don't have a group of friends that I hang out with regularly. Much of that is due to how busy I like to be, and part of it is self-imposed. I love to socialize, yet sometimes, I just feel out of the loop. Like there is something greater than the everyday gossip and movies. Some higher purpose that I should be working towards. So, I take some time by myself to figure out what that is. Now, I know.

I know that I am heading somewhere better and working to make someone proud. Since high school, I have taken solace in the fact that I don't belong here. One day, I will return to my Father. Until then, "I can go the distance." Will you?

Composed Upon Westminster Bridge

A moving poem by William Wordsworth. Just perfect. I am definitely going to read this over the Thames when I'm in London this spring. =)
I think sometimes we all need a little reminder about the beauty all around us.

Earth has not anything to show more fair:
Dull would he be of soul who could pass by
A sight so touching in its majesty:
This City now doth, like a garment, wear
The beauty of the morning; silent, bare,
Ships, towers, domes, theatres, and temples lie
Open unto the fields, and to the sky;
All bright and glittering in the smokeless air.
Never did sun more beautifully steep
In his first splendour, valley, rock, or hill;
Ne'er saw I, never felt, a calm so deep!
The river glideth at his own sweet will:
Dear God! the very houses seem asleep;
And all that mighty heart is lying still!

His Nothing Box

I was introduced to an interesting theory when I was hanging out with some friends yesterday. It explains the difference between how guys and girls brains work. Intrigued? Haha, I was.

The Nothing Box

So, apparently, guys have a room with a lot of shelves. These shelves contain boxes. Each box contains a different category of information. Therefore, the boxes cannot touch. That would be bad. I imagined it to look something like this. (Maybe with labels.)

When the subject is say, birds, the guy goes to his bird box and looks in at everything he knows about birds. He can then utilize that information in conversation. As soon as the subject changes, he packs up that box and goes to the next one. 

Sometimes, he won't have anything to do (or just feels like a break) so he grabs his nothing box and looks inside. This box is special because it contains nothing. Apparently, a guy can stay looking at his nothing box for a very long time. So, when he says he's thinking about nothing, chances are: he's actually thinking about nothing. Astounding! 

The Notecard

Most girls (myself included) are constantly baffled by "his nothing box". Perhaps this stems from the difference in the organization of minds. Many women, it is theorized, have more of a note card than a box. This note card is then attached to a string. This string leads to another note card and so on and so forth, looking something like this:

 

Often, the breakdown occurs when a woman jumps to the next note card and the man hurries to put away his current box and find the next one. By the time he has that subject ready to go, she has moved on again and he is lost wondering how a termite became a lion.

After discussing this, I decided to try to be courteous to the only male among three women. He was very grateful when I announced, "Changing topics, blah blah blah." It was pretty entertaining.

*Disclaimer: I did say this was a theory. It does not explain everything nor pertain to all situations. Hope you got a laugh! =)

An Attitude of Gratitude

In life, there are so many things to be grateful for; it's easy to overlook the majority of them. Sometimes, I consider myself a grateful person. Then, I write a list of 10 things that I am thankful for and I always have more to say by the end. I write a "Thank You" note to someone and realize something stunning: I have been blind. With eyes downcast, I missed the setting sun and how beautifully it illuminated the snow upon the mountains, turning white to pink and gold. I only thought, "Man, I'm cold."

Last semester, in one of my classes, we discussed the idea of gratitude journals. The idea is actually quite simple. Take this test, the Fordyce Emotions Questionare, to measure your current happiness. Every night for 3 weeks, write in a journal 5 things that you are grateful for. (I prefer 10.) At the end of the 3 weeks, take the test again and look at the difference between the two. As you take the time each night to ponder your blessings, your satisfaction with life will increase.

If you believe in a higher power, or have even considered the possibility, I challenge you to ask yourself one more question: How have I seen God's hand in my life today?

Miracles happen all the time. We just have to open our eyes to see them.