Another Beginning

So, as I prepare to leave on my mission to Billings Montana, it feels like I am closing another chapter in my life. I leave in about a month and it is both exhilarating and exhausting to think about. So much will change while I am gone. I hope most of those changes are for the better, but I know they won't all be.

"For it must needs be, that there is opposition in all things. (2 Nephi 2:11)."

I take hope from the fact that every ending leads to a new beginning.

Another Beginning

I used to think we'd never part;
The thought had never crossed my mind,
But now, I find I'm at the start
And your path, I've left behind.

Among the rocks, you now wind,
But I chose the straighter course.
At first offset, I seemed to find
My chosen path to be the source

Of obstacles so great a force
That I had not strength to stand,
And soon my weary voice grew hoarse
Calling, pleading for your hand.

This was not the end I planned!
But somehow, I stumbled on
And I found a meadowland;
Finally, your shadow gone,

I forgot to dwell upon
All the things I wished for you.
I almost cried to see the dawn
And first-time saw, the morning dew.

Gotta love Enya. =)

Memories

Oh mother dear how I do long
To speak with you, to get a hug,
To hear you laugh once more with me
Just smiling brightly in the sun.

Oh, how the mind can twist the past
Twill just recall those memories
Congruent with the mood you wear,
Like a closet full of clothes.

Sometimes I think of yellow dress
In sunshine memories to dance.
While other time, I just have this:
My black raincoat that's full of holes.

My clothes of youth were not most choice;
Sometimes threadbare, with a patch.
Yet, to me were royal robes
At least, that's what my mouth did say.

But as I grew and left your home,
I left most of those clothes behind:
Tried to forget some did exist.
Yet, from the battered cloth, I learned.

They taught me love and charity.
Now you're gone and all I have
Are the values that you held
And wove into my clothes of youth.

Sonnet Sunday: Empty Thoughts

Empty thoughts now fill my mind
Drifting through this painful mist
Of memories not half-recalled
What screaming silence bursts my ears

As I refuse to clear my eyes
To see the cause of all my tears.
A question simple yet complex
Oh I cannot find words to say

The answer to your due query
Of what it is that aches the most
What haunting questions do I fear
Deep within this heart of mine

I fear the possibility
That I will chose a path that leads
Back to darkness, not far hence
From the cold from whence I came.

But I know my Father's there
Waiting with His arm outstretched;
Angels sent will strengthen me
And guide me to the narrow gate.

Finding Grace

Folded arms, bowing head,
Streaming tears upon my bed.
Pretense gone, lies forsook
Staring at that open book
Piercing words, parable,
Leads me to defer control.
Melting stone, changing heart
Filling in a missing part.
Speaking truth, hidden fears
Crying out till hope appears.
Searching soul, finding grace
Now safe within thy warm embrace.
Broken door, open wide
Lets him rush forth to my side.
Peaceful calm, He doth send
Oh Savior, my best friend.