Another Beginning

So, as I prepare to leave on my mission to Billings Montana, it feels like I am closing another chapter in my life. I leave in about a month and it is both exhilarating and exhausting to think about. So much will change while I am gone. I hope most of those changes are for the better, but I know they won't all be.

"For it must needs be, that there is opposition in all things. (2 Nephi 2:11)."

I take hope from the fact that every ending leads to a new beginning.

Another Beginning

I used to think we'd never part;
The thought had never crossed my mind,
But now, I find I'm at the start
And your path, I've left behind.

Among the rocks, you now wind,
But I chose the straighter course.
At first offset, I seemed to find
My chosen path to be the source

Of obstacles so great a force
That I had not strength to stand,
And soon my weary voice grew hoarse
Calling, pleading for your hand.

This was not the end I planned!
But somehow, I stumbled on
And I found a meadowland;
Finally, your shadow gone,

I forgot to dwell upon
All the things I wished for you.
I almost cried to see the dawn
And first-time saw, the morning dew.

Gotta love Enya. =)

Blossom Rose

This is for all of the wonderful people I have met in my life who have taught me what true love is. Written from the perspective of a mother whose child was born with a disability. 

Well, you were born perfect to me:
Almond eyes and a button nose.
What a beautiful sight to see,
My tender blossom rose.

They told me to give up hope
You'll never live a normal life
That it's selfish in this scope
To keep you in such strife.

But I decided you were mine
To care for and protect for time
I didn't need a bigger sign
Than your smile, beauty sublime.

You'll walk and talk, but never learn
Arithmetic or cursive
Yet nothing in the world could earn
The love you freely give.

They told me all the faults in you
Yet they never saw ahead
How you would change my view
And make life so blessed.

Now, you're still perfect to me:
Almond eyes and a button nose.
What a beautiful sight to see,
My tender blossom rose.

Words of Pride

My soul sorrows within me now
From the mem'ry of my sins;
If I truly loved my Savior,
Would I mock my brother's faults?

I put my worth above his own
Through unkind words, a petty vice,
But truly just abased myself;
True virtue need not prove it's there.

Oh, Lord, my God, forgive me as
I covenant anew with thee,
Partaking of your flesh and blood,
Allowing you to make me clean.

Deciding now to be your hands
To lift my brother from the dust.
Bury all my pride and folly;
Consecrate my time and heart.

As your disciple, teach me how
To be a city on a hill.
I need your help, please let me see
The worth of others unto thee.

Memories

Oh mother dear how I do long
To speak with you, to get a hug,
To hear you laugh once more with me
Just smiling brightly in the sun.

Oh, how the mind can twist the past
Twill just recall those memories
Congruent with the mood you wear,
Like a closet full of clothes.

Sometimes I think of yellow dress
In sunshine memories to dance.
While other time, I just have this:
My black raincoat that's full of holes.

My clothes of youth were not most choice;
Sometimes threadbare, with a patch.
Yet, to me were royal robes
At least, that's what my mouth did say.

But as I grew and left your home,
I left most of those clothes behind:
Tried to forget some did exist.
Yet, from the battered cloth, I learned.

They taught me love and charity.
Now you're gone and all I have
Are the values that you held
And wove into my clothes of youth.

Sonnet Sunday: Empty Thoughts

Empty thoughts now fill my mind
Drifting through this painful mist
Of memories not half-recalled
What screaming silence bursts my ears

As I refuse to clear my eyes
To see the cause of all my tears.
A question simple yet complex
Oh I cannot find words to say

The answer to your due query
Of what it is that aches the most
What haunting questions do I fear
Deep within this heart of mine

I fear the possibility
That I will chose a path that leads
Back to darkness, not far hence
From the cold from whence I came.

But I know my Father's there
Waiting with His arm outstretched;
Angels sent will strengthen me
And guide me to the narrow gate.

Burn Bright

I wish, my dear, that you understood
All the wond'rous things I have found.
I would tell you everything if I could.
I open my mouth, without a sound:

A whisp'ring voice says it won't resound.
I want what's best for you and pray, as you
Fade from my sight, that you are crowned
With light and glory. Please find His way.

Oh Love, there is so much I want to say;
Fire is burning bright within me Dear
Aching to drive your doubts away.
Words so true, just let yourself hear.

In you, such potential burning bright;
I hope one day, you unleash it's light.

Sonnet Sunday: Dancing Lilies

So, it's not quite a sonnet, but it is Sunday!

Here in Utah, the snow is beginning to melt. Yesterday, the sun was shining and it was almost 50 degrees!! It was the first day in a long time that I could grab my guitar and just sit outside playing. I even needed to take my sweater off after a while! =D

So, as a tribute to spring, here is an original poem written my senior year of high school.

Dancing Lilies

The dancing lilies seem to ask,

"Didst thou forget the silent breeze,

The fragrant soil, the whisp'ring trees

That thy father made for thee?"

I answer, "Only for a time."

To this the lilies do implore

That I will come and visit more;

For in their presence I will find

The most delightful peace of mind.

Photo is not mine. For information about it, visit the photographer's page.

Composed Upon Westminster Bridge

A moving poem by William Wordsworth. Just perfect. I am definitely going to read this over the Thames when I'm in London this spring. =)
I think sometimes we all need a little reminder about the beauty all around us.

Earth has not anything to show more fair:
Dull would he be of soul who could pass by
A sight so touching in its majesty:
This City now doth, like a garment, wear
The beauty of the morning; silent, bare,
Ships, towers, domes, theatres, and temples lie
Open unto the fields, and to the sky;
All bright and glittering in the smokeless air.
Never did sun more beautifully steep
In his first splendour, valley, rock, or hill;
Ne'er saw I, never felt, a calm so deep!
The river glideth at his own sweet will:
Dear God! the very houses seem asleep;
And all that mighty heart is lying still!

A Christmas Thought

All these people, so-called friends

See me wounded, yet, they pass

I struggle on, barely awake

Wondering why I'm so alone.

Perhaps they did not look to see

My limping gait and shallow breath

Or if my weakness saw, by chance,

Were caught up in their daily grind.

Then I stumble on a rock

No steady hand to catch my fall

The razor rocks splitting my skin

Oh where is he willing to stop?

Who'll take a second look and see

What feeble strength is giving way

Who'll wrap me in his warmest coat

And carry me into the inn?

I wonder as a figure nears

Will he stop to lift me up,

Quench my thirst, offer support,

And call his name Samaritan?

Christmas should be just that: a time to honor Christ. 

What better way to do that than to emulate his example? Christ was the "Good Samaritan" in his parable; he is always there to lift us up and put our welfare before his own. The Samaritan paid the innkeeper in advance and said that any excess debt incurred, he would pay upon return. Christ did that for each of us through his Atonement for his sins.

So many people hide their struggles and put on a brave face; however, if we are willing to take a second glance, we will find plenty of opportunities to serve our fellow-man. We can emulate the Spirit of Christmas by showing compassion, love, and patience to others. Give someone the benefit of the doubt this week; instead of frustration, show love and observe how the situation changes. You may be surprised what you find.

Starry Nights

Oh starry nights,

Flickering lights,

That knowingly

Wink down at me,

Stirring from deep

Within my sleep

Remembrance of

A father's love.

My heart doth stir;

This is my cure,

My starry nights

With flick'ring lights

When I feel lost,

So tempest-tossed.

I watch this sight:

Stars burning bright.

Then, like a dove,

I feel your love

Uplift my soul

And make me whole.

What hope ignites

From flick'ring lights.

Breaking the Surface

Here is something I wrote a long time ago.

Something I have been starting to learn lately is that it's okay to not be okay. You don't have to be strong all the time. Sometimes, you need to reach up and grab hold of someone's helping hand to help you pull yourself from the depths. However, that requires you to be real, to be sincere. Being real is being willing to be yourself and own what you feel, to admit that you are scared or hurting, that you aren't perfect, that everyone -yourself included- needs help to survive.

So, here is me being real.

Breaking the Surface

Try to keep your head above
As waves come hard and fast.
They're crashing down, always
Attempting to bury you below.
Fight your way to the top,
Gasping out for breath.

Stay above the surface.
Don't let yourself go.
Don't stop fighting,
Else, you'll sink below.
So many depend on you;
Don't let them down.

Stay above the surface.
Don't lose your fight.
Keep on trying and flailing
Make your bandage seamless
To hide how much you're bleeding
From the rocks within the water.

Stay above the surface
As you twist and turn
When will you reach the air
Gasping in the sun?
All you see is drowning
All you see is tears.

That Bitter Cup

Lord, I've begun to stall in life

Through blind focus on my own strife.

But what of Christ? Gethsemane?

He bled and cried in prayer for me.

Remembering that bitter cup

And how he said, "I'll drink it up,"

Sober streams from my eyes.

Truth in His words. I realize

He suffered not for sin alone

Though did for all the world atone.

How great His love; He bore my pain

So that he might erase all stain.

Always there's Him to show me care

When neighb'ring men are unaware.

He stands etern'ly at my door.

''Oh, let me in,'' He doth implore.

''Each drop I shed, I gave you grace,
More than the tears upon your face.

I feel each strain upon your back.

Giving you strength when ye lack.''

He whispers peace to my heart

For all to me He doth impart,
I turn my face up to the sun
And praise the Lord, the Holy One.

Dear Child

 How much the world’s toils do hold thy mind,

And body captive to their will and then,

Do leave a sense of emptiness behind.

You’re words to me as well: the same again.

They give you naught to feel till you confess

To me. Forgo self-swindling. Dear child,

Every burden to thy numb soul, express.

Please tell me all your raging wars so wild.

Please let me in. Oh hear my voice and know

If you but step into the dark and try

To faithfully follow the path I show,

I’ll be with thee till from you, darkness shy.

Please chose my path, with faith my words are true.

My yoke is light. Drink from my living well.

Thine eyes now dull, bright flame it will renew,

As you remove that dark worldly bushel.

My child, to you this gift I give:

That ye might chose my path and live.

Finding Grace

Folded arms, bowing head,
Streaming tears upon my bed.
Pretense gone, lies forsook
Staring at that open book
Piercing words, parable,
Leads me to defer control.
Melting stone, changing heart
Filling in a missing part.
Speaking truth, hidden fears
Crying out till hope appears.
Searching soul, finding grace
Now safe within thy warm embrace.
Broken door, open wide
Lets him rush forth to my side.
Peaceful calm, He doth send
Oh Savior, my best friend.